5 Things I had to GROW through



I've been sitting with all these words on paper unsure what they meant or what I needed to do with them. Up until last night I had no clue of a title or meaning behind todays blog. Unfortunately for me , I do my best thinking when I should be sleep. I sit up at night and think about how I can reveal more of him in me for you. I hope that makes sense! LOL! When the title hit me last night my heart smiled. Todays blog will be about a few things I had to Grow-Through in order to get a break-through. You know growth is amazing when you can smile about revealing your shortcomings to strangers essentially. Today you will see a quote over and over because its needed and hopefully it'll sink in once we reach the end or finish line.

" Its foolish to pay the price for the experience and neglect the lesson" Enitan Bereola

1. Divorce: Listen! no matter how done, hurt, or angry you are with your spouse DIVORCE is HARD. I remember dealing with so many emotions and thoughts. I didn't know if I was coming or going during most of the time. I felt completely alone and like a failure. Divorce was bittersweet, I was like, "wait I'm single but damn did it really have to come to this?" Yes it did, but I overcame it. It wasn't over night, and it wasn't easy. To anyone going through a divorce or separation I know its seems as though you will never smile again but you will! Hang in there! I did it. Divorce does not make you a failure, divorce does not mean you aren't meant to love or be loved. Be sure you have an awesome support system and people that love you. For me, Bishop Paul S. Morton's Be Blessed and Keyshia Coles first album got me through!

" Its foolish to pay the price for the experience and neglect the lesson" Enitan Bereola

2. Singleness: Y'all, I fucked this up! After my divorce my single life was a complete mess. I was going out all the time to "get my groove back" FAIL! I wasted so much time, more time and energy. I never took the time to enjoy myself or love myself again. When you get mistreated by a loved one sometimes we go out and seek the wrong attention. I did that and got hood-winked and bamboozled a million times over. Remember every man that ask, doesn't deserve access. Its ok to say NO! I did not use my singleness to my advantage, I think it was after the 100th heartbreak I decided to get my whole life together. Although it hurt like hell, I overcame my singleness. GLORY! I wasted a lot of time helping others grow, when I should have been taking my own GROWTH PERSONAL! Enjoy being your own mate. Date yourself , it will show you things about yourself you didn't know. I learned that I loved projects. You know the men that you take in and clean them up, get them right and the leave you when they get to popping.! NEVER AGAIN! Enjoy being Single, its not a curse! Respect the process.

" Its foolish to pay the price for the experience and neglect the lesson" Enitan Bereola


3. Punishment: Most of my early 20's felt like I was on punishment. That was the longest restriction I had ever been through. I felt like I had done something wrong and God was punishing me for it. My marriage was a failure, I was working a dead end job, I had to quit school, I was a new single parent, working 2 jobs most of the time with every step I took I felt like I was being knocked back 30 steps. I know now that this wasn't the truth. I was punishing myself by not understanding my own worth and not standing up for myself. I slept on my own self. I imagined things to be way different but that was just it I was imagining but not working towards anything. God aint gon bless no mess EVER!

" Its foolish to pay the price for the experience and neglect the lesson" Enitan Bereola

4. The struggle: This was probably where my biggest growth came from. On the outside the struggle was non-existent oh but baby it was alive and real. I moved back in with my momma, cars broke down, eviction, lights off, sometimes my kids ate and I didn't. Sometimes I would arrange for them to be picked up from school so they didn't have to come in to a dark house. Ill never forget the day my mom spotted me walking to work in 90 degree weather and thought I was crazy. I'm not ashamed of my struggle at all LOL the struggle made me who I am . The struggle forces a lot out of you and im blessed that it forced strength and perseverance out of me. You have to let go of pride, you have to say forget sleep I did all of that and would do it again. But you shouldn't have to,the idea is to come out of the struggle stay out by all means! Save, Budget, and take your credit serious! Don't be out here living beyond your means.


" Its foolish to pay the price for the experience and neglect the lesson" Enitan Bereola

5. Co - Parenting: I had to grow through co- parenting because if not I would have become a bitter "BM". ( Puts on cape) Parenting, Co- parenting and child support are such touchy subjects and everyone has such a strong opinion of how it should really be handled, but nobody is in your shoes. At one point I was mad, I was jealous, I was confused but then I got fed up and that's when I STOPPED trying to hold someone else accountable. I had to learn that I can only account for myself as a parent. I stopped with the hateful statuses, hateful messages, hateful thoughts, because those same hateful bred hateful actions. I had to stop trying to make a grown up do what a grown up was supposed to do. Its tiring and exhausting. Don't waste time! When the smoke clears my children will know who was there and who wasn't. I never talk to about there father negatively in there presence. I believe in letting them come to there own conclusions. But You " Mommas baby Daddies maybe" folks make my ass itch! Stop with the excuses! There are no maybe's in the creation of children. Parenting is not a toy that you get to exchange when you get tired. Kids eventually become adults that become husbands, wives, and parents and hurt People will always hurt People, kids are no different. Learn how to date and be a parent simultaneously. This is for both mothers and fathers! Do better your children are depending on you and they are watching. You cant stop because someone else did!

" Its foolish to pay the price for the experience and neglect the lesson" Enitan Bereola

Don't just GO through life GROW through life! We know life happens but its important to understand that a knock down doesn't mean defeat! You can still be victorious after divorce, you can enjoy single life when you know who's you are and what you are worth, and you can still be prosperous after the struggle. Remember to Be Intentional, Be Positive ,Be Blessed but most importantly Be YOU!

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