“You should be angry. You must not be bitter. Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. It doesn’t do anything to the object of its displeasure. So use that anger. You write it. You paint it. You dance it. You march it. You vote it. You do everything about it. You talk it. Never stop talking it.” – Maya Angelou
It was April fool’s day when I received my divorce decree aka “my freedom papers "and I didn’t know if I should be happy or feel like a complete failure. I didn’t know if I should tell someone or keep it to myself. I was a free woman but I still felt trapped. I still felt bothered by all the shit I had been through. In fact I believe it woke up the sleeping beast. The beast that held every heartbreak, every lie, my daddy issues, my middle child syndrome, and aggravation.
If it wasn’t one thing it was another and on some days it was all things. When I look back at my Facebook memories I have to admit some of the post are “cringe worthy". A lot of those post came from a place of rejections, fear, frustration and anger. Those unpleasant memories prompted todays blog. I seriously cant believe I posted half the crap I posted. But then again I appreciate it, because I can rejoice in not being that person anymore.
Here I was 22 years old getting a divorce, my life was interrupted and now I had to start over. I was bitter because a lot of my time was wasted, bitter because I would now be a single mother of 2 small children, Bitter because I gave up school and my dreams to only get stuck in a dead end situation. I envied my ex-husband. He had no responsibility, he was a free-spirit and women loved him.
Envy turned in to resentment. That resentment turned into bitterness. That bitterness led to a sharp tongue and tasteless acts. I allowed the bitterness to control my every emotion and every thought. I was only fooling and hindering myself. We went hard for years against each other. Every girlfriend he had, had a problem with me and I had a problem with them. It was disgusting what all went down between us, some things were preventable and some things were inevitable either way it was BAD.
Over the kids, because of the kids and In front of the innocent kids you name It, it happened.
Bitterness can come from being angry about someone you cant change or a situation you cant change.
Hard Lesson I had to learn: You cant change people you can only change how you deal with them.
Hard Task I had to practice: Not fighting FIRE with FIRE!
Quit creating your own STORMS!!
We allow things that we can’t control to affect our mental health which trickles over to our physical and emotional health…….Heart Attacks are REAL!
Learn the difference between petty and pathetic! (OUCH)
Take time to Heal. Quit putting a band aid over your wounds! " Be Still"
I challenge you to stop thinking of ways to hurt those that hurt you… Let it GO! You aren't the person that hurt you!
I challenge you to be BETTER not BITTER!!
Although, we are ex-wives, baby mommas, single mothers, ex-friends, ex- employees , fatherless daughters, motherless daughters, dead among the living and etc. remember those titles DO NOT require us to be bitter.
Peace is important to my life and my well-being. Day in and Day out I am searching for ways to increase the peace in my life. I don’t want to cringe at the thought of this person or that situation. I want to smile because I overcame that person and that situation. I want to tell people that there is hope and really mean that. Because there really is HOPE.
Say NO to sleepless nights, crushed feelings, and bruised egos all because of bitterness!
Say YES to PEACE, HAPPINESS and BLESSINGS!
Be you , Do you , For you!