I wish I could give you some amazing claims to loving yourself but I cant.
I cant do that because at one point in time I had no earthly idea what loving yourself really was. I thought I did. In my mind you couldn't tell me I didn't love myself but now that I truly love and enjoy ME, I know that was some BS. Straight BS!
Today's post comes from my latest release and well it'll probably be just a bunch of rambling. But anywho!
I always ask for reviews no matter how bad they can be LOL I ask because I try and catch someone with each book. The reviews this time have been so heart warming I've been in tears. Like real tears y'all. The fact that some have said they dealt with body issues, issues with loving themselves and feeling worthy. Let me know it was what I was looking for. I mean especially with the alarming suicide rate and the fact that we as women just cant and shouldn't live up to these ridiculous standards set by people who may have no damn clue what it takes to be YOU!
The whole idea of This Could Be Something Special was to shed light on the lack of self love, confidence and the fact that some women don't think they have anything special to offer based on their looks.
Bigger women get a bad rap and trust me I may not know that struggle first hand but i believe that confidence is an issue for all women. No matter the shape, color, size, age. Its hard to feel beautiful with all the things that are out and about. and lets not forget about those standards we are up against. Full beat before you leave out, dont be to tall it makes men feel a certain way, workout no one wants a woman with stretch marks.
I've lost count of the memes I've seen on this or that in regards to what a woman should look like. Its disgusting how so many views are being placed on woman. I mean I look at these memes all day and yell STFU to several of them. Hair, Nails, Skin Tone, Weight, Height its all become some sort of chart and we've all been placed in this stupid, cramped and stuffy box.
In the book Kam deals with her own self image issues and self love issues. She's very unsure of what makes her special and in her mind her body type exonerates any possibility of being worthy. She deals with her own family bashing her about it. Sound familiar? If it does let me personally say I apologize that you have ever had to go through not being loved by those that are supposed to love you no matter what!
That's truly tragic to me. Others should never have a say on how you feel. I'm all for being healthy but I wont be cast into a body type. I'm ME beautiful, worthy , thick in the hips, saggy boobs and natural kinky hair. Society doesn't get to tell me what beautiful is. I determine that, You determine that.
Back in 2013 (wow I cant believe its been that long) I met someone who I thought was all that. I mean he was tatted up, thuggish, dressed nice and I thought he had a lot of shit going on. (you know big shit poppin) I was wrong. Very wrong. I loved him. Hell I love strong in general. I thought he loved me. Cliche? Yep True? yep. I hung on every word and suggestion he had for me in regards to looks. I cut my hair to a fade. His suggestion. I dyed it. His suggestion. He would say you should wear this. I wore it. It was like he was the puppet and I was the puppet master. He said it, I did it.
That relationship left me pole thin, so thin I was accused of using drugs. I was in a pit of self hate. No one knew, No one cared to ask. But I was. I wasn't eating, my hair was falling out, I dealt with my feelings by myself, it was best. I was so down on myself. I questioned everything about me.
I made myself believe it was my hair that made him leave,
I made myself believe it was my weight loss that made him leave me,
I made myself believe it was because I couldn't get pretty anymore,
I made myself believe it was because my sex wasn't as good anymore,
My own lack of self love allowed that to happen. I was hurt, my pride was fucked up. You mean to tell me I did everything you deemed beautiful for you to leave anyway? Talk about a slap in the damn face.
It was then that I sat down and just stopped for a minute. I realized that it was foolish to make myself believe that my outer appearance was more important than who I was on the inside. Or to allow his idea of beauty to change who I was. At the end of the day it didn't matter. It shouldn't have mattered unless I was doing it for me. Same for you.
Standards are just like my ex. They come in waves and we allow them to alter what we feel about ourselves. We change our hair, we change our clothes when that shit doesn't determine true beauty. AT ALL!
You are beautiful inside and out. Your hair doesn't have to be "slayed" in order to be beautiful. You don't have to wear what everyone likes or THINKS you should wear in order to be beautiful. You are worthy of whatever it is you desire. You don't have to be skinny to be loved or deemed as beautiful. You don't have to wear makeup to be considered beautiful. You don't have to have surgery for bigger lips, lighter skin, or a big butt. Be beautifully you.
Self love is important, be so in love with YOU that not one person can tell you about you! You my friend are the shit, you are worthy, you are beautiful, you are wonderfully made, you were designed for greatness, you my friend are funny, you are the main event, you are the ending and the beginning. You are strong, you are a ball of fire.
That pic is to show you what true self love brings. I took control of my life and decided that I was worthy. I was beautiful and I didn't need a man, social media, friend or family member to tell me that. I loved myself so much that I started to require it from other people.
You all are beautiful! Love always Chas!