OMG Ladies how have you all been? I knows it been a long time since I posted, but I've been so busy. Life is busy right now, things are changing and IM CHANGING! In just a few short months I will be leaving my "20 something's" and crossing over to the dirty 30. I'm nervous and anxious about all the changes that are going on right now. Sometimes I'm uber confident about all that I want to accomplish and then some days I'm like "Just hang it up". I know I'm not the only one that has felt that way. Its like you get up pumped about taking on the day and then the day is not on the same page. I'm so ready to be on the same page as the universe I don't know what to do. But this post isn't about that, this post is about my Hiatus.
Honestly, the hiatus has really just begun. Right now I feel like I need to take a step back and reevaluate so much. Whether it be my job, friendships, relationships or my goals. I have so much that I want to accomplish. I've gotten discouraged and I've had breakthroughs. I thank god for those breakthroughs because they diminish the discouragement.
I wrote a book! A entire book, wild right? I never imagined that I would be able to complete such a task. It wasn't easy, but I'm proud. I appreciate those that have been in my corner supporting me or served as inspiration.
"Did you think I'd Crumble?" is the title and I ask that you all stay tuned for the story of Cheyanne Baltimore as she recovers from heartbreak and finds herself all over again. I completed this book today! ("pops champagne"). Now all that's left is to get it sent to a publisher that will help make this a reality for me. Jewels of wisdom will be dropped and I hope that anyone that reads it is touched and able to take something away from it.
I've been working y'all, that's why I've been on a Hiatus. For a minute it seemed like life was just passing me by and I wasn't getting anything from it. No matter how many books I read I wasn't picking up anything. That scared me, because I learn something from everything and everyone. But I wasn't being receptive because the book I needed to read was myself. I needed to read ME. We were seriously missing the mark on communication and understanding.
In my younger years I used to be such an extrovert, these days my home has become such a safe place for me. I'm turning into a introvert. At first I figured it was my age, you know the older you get the less impressed you are or the less enthused you are with a night on the town. But its not my age, its people and the way people treat others, the way people treat ME.
Working on this book brought a lot of things to the forefront for me in regards to my relationships with people and with myself. You all know the ongoing theme of my blog is TRANSPARENCY! Allow me to be transparent for just a moment while I document the things that came bubbling over:
- I'm outspoken but seriously against confrontation. I do not do confrontation, I don't live for it like others and I'm OK with it. I will speak my mind but I wont speak my mind with those that are unable to have an adult conversation. I will not waste my time addressing things that will later be turned into something else.
- Passive-aggressive behavior is annoying. Like speak your mind! Please!
- I'm done living for others. I cant carry anyone else's weight anymore and I will not stop and think of what will be said or who will support me when I make a decision. I'm going to make them whether you agree or not.
Don't want to see your kids? FINE, God Bless
Don't like my new haircut? To Bad, God Bless
Don't think I should run in traffic barefoot? Watch me!
Why you do this or that? Because I can, God Bless
I'm seriously there in life, don't like it? Feel free to EXIT to your left or right!
- I need to travel...... my life hasn't been near as EPIC as it should've been or that it could be. I need to see the world, meet different people, learn about different cultures, eat different food and be on someone's beach without the beach bod because I don't care anymore LOL. I don't want to leave this earth with one memory of that one time I went to Mexico!
I'm coming for you WORLD!
- I should demand more RESPECT! Listen just because I love you does not mean you get free reign on crossing the lines and boundaries with me. The best thing about me is that I can demand this without batting an eye or doing tally marks on where or not I earned it, because I know and you know I've earned it.
I EARNED RESPECT!
These emotions forced me to address some things that normally wouldn't be addressed because I force myself to be OK and sometimes I'm not OK but because people assume I'm OK no one asks if I'm "OK".
This hiatus is in the beginning stage, but its so needed. Don't be offended because after its all said and done, remember its ME not YOU!
Be You~ Do You~ For You