It was exactly 8 months ago today that I made the decision to leap and say screw my 9-5. I knew exactly how it would sound and I knew exactly that I would be deemed temporarily insane. I did it anyway. Most of you know the story of me leaving with little to no savings or not even the slightest plan. But as I sit here and type this while Closer by Goapele plays I know I made the right decision.
I’m not writing to go over why I did it, because most of you know. I’m here in your email today because I want to take a minute to be transparent with y'all. So I will say this right here and right now if you don’t want to read my curse words, exit stage left. LOL
Ok for those that are still here with me. Let me say this right now THIS SHIT IS HARD AF! LOL I love what I do. I love creating characters, I love waking up when I want to, I love being home with my family, but I’ve had to give up a lot in order to say that. I’ve given up a lot of shit I didn’t think I could live without. It’s been times when the money just wasn’t there, but God made a way. I’m thankful! That is how I know this is what I’m supposed to be doing. I’ve given up getting my nails done. I’ve given up eating out. I’ve given up getting my hair done. I’ve given up so many opportunities to go hang out. WHY? It requires money I can’t part with to live my dream. It’s worth it, because those that know me and know how much I love this understand.
Sometimes I get frustrated, but I refuse to give up because the superficial shit I used to love so much I can no longer do, have, touch. I’m truly living my dream and as much as it seems like hell when I’m scrambling to pay a bill it’s still my dream. It’s still here, at my fingertips, in my grasp. I’m blessed.
The struggle has been real, but we’ve had food, lights and water. That would have never been enough for me a few years ago. I’m expensive, shit. I like Brahmin bags; I like my nails to be long and expensive. I like sew ins. I like to eat steak and shrimp on the weekends. I like to go out and treat my family. But it has been more than enough because I get to do what I want. Right now I’m at a place of stepping back just a little. Simply because although my passion has become my paycheck it has also started to feel like a job. Don’t get me wrong it is but I don’t want the joy and passion to be removed because I feel like I have to make money. This was never about money for me. I wanted to share my life with you.
If you truly know me you know it won’t be a long hiatus. Because I’m working on something right now. But right now I’m focused on quality. My hiatus will last just long enough for inspiration to really strike me and push me forward to my pivoting point. I’ve done good for myself over these last eight months in regard to my faith and the level of positivity I’ve been able to keep up in spite of the moments I wanted to pull my hair out.
It’s so important to love what you do but it’s even more important that you take inventory of the reason you stay at the job you hate. Take a look around and look at all the shit you can have but can live without if it meant you could do what you LOVE every day. When did we get to a point that looking like we had money meant we had the American Dream? I mean honestly when did we get to that point. Dreams are important. Passion is important. It’s really the foundation of the country we live in. Somebody had to be the dreamer. It can be you. I know you have a dream and if you don’t, girl get one.
I will forever do without the shit I loved if I have a pocket full of dreams. My dreams matter more to me than fitting in and living like society wants me to. I will make it by any means. I took a leap. I took a risk and a full set will not send me back to having to decide on my dream or a paycheck.
You may be in a place right now and you feel the tug. That’s scary but its fucking amazing. It means you need to make some changes and go for it. Take that LEAP. Take that RISK. Get into formation. Because you can run from it, but it will catch up to you. You may feel like things are being removed but its just God making room for new stuff. He wants you to live in his will.
I know this is his will and the lesson has been learned. My toenail polish is chipped, my eyebrows look like caterpillars, I haven’t ate out in months, I almost let my phone get cut off and a list of other shit because this runs so damn deep in me that I don’t care. You can judge me, but I hope you won’t. Even if you do that’s fine, it’s a mess making this full time writing gig work, but I Declare that I will do it. I will master it.
Will you? Will you take the time to really ask yourself if all you have that can be purchased is truly the way you want to live? Right now I’m happy and that matters. In the eyes of society I’m broke and it feels good. LOL Do I sound crazy and reckless? Yes. OK GOOD! Mission Accomplished.
I’ve created a:
Limits all in the name of my dream. You can do the same if you really want to.
Happy Eight Months of truly living my dream! Let me know how I can help you do the same! And if you really feel sorry for your girl don’t judge me, cashapp me LOL JK!!!