Y'all....... I did something yesterday that some would deem insane and me, well I deem it fearless. (hence the pic lol)
For the last few weeks, I've had this gnawing feeling in my spirit. Every waking moment had either become about me complaining about my job or scooting closer to the edge of writing full time. I cant explain what I did with putting in my two week notice at the job I'd given 5 years of my life too. But I can say that I felt relieved.
We read blogs, listen to podcast, and all these other things about others success stories. I read it everyday "I quit my job and now I am my own boss" or 'I decided to step out on faith and now look at me living lavish and ish".
How many times have you been like dang let me get my life in perfect order to do just that? How many times have you swooned over the idea of being your own boss?
I do this about every day. I've reached out just to get the recipe.
THERE IS NO RECIPE!.....
There's fear and then there's reckless faith.
I'm on some reckless faith type stuff right now. Fear cant live here. And will no longer live my life through others hoping to have that one day. I wont wait for everything to be together because I know life doesn't work like that. I was telling myself to be patient but it only equated t stagnation.
Its for ME.
Let me tell you I have no massive amount of money in savings to soften the blow, I have no real plan but I do have faith and I am in tune with my level of hustle. I know if I don't have this job or if this doesn't work out I can do something else. This isn't about wanting to sit home and binge watch T.V. This is about my dream. I'm either going to wake up and love it or I'm going to try something else. There are so many hustles and I am actively researching them all.
Notice, giving up is not anywhere in this message!
and it wont be!
I want to be worried but I just cant. I refuse to worry about what he has already promised me. I will do anything I can to make this work. I was nervous but the words, "I'm putting my two weeks in", rolled effortlessly off my tongue and the boulders rolled off.
I instantly felt FREE.
So this is how it happened.... I made it to work, sat down and said ugh we are so busy, I have no time to work on what I truly feel passionate about. I know, I know work isn't for me to work on my dreams. I laughed at that thought and said you know what, this is it today is the day. Like a good wife I wrote my husband and told him how I was feeling. This was the most nerve wrecking part. Simply because my husband is so sensible. He's a thinker. Me, oh no baby.... I'm a Sagittarius and we really just do and pay for it later.
Not to mention I would never do anything that would put our family in a bind.
He shocked me.... He said "Go for it, you got 10 books published in a year and that didn't happen by not stepping."
Then came the "F it, its now or never." Imagine me walking to my supervisor, chest poked out and saying 11/20 is my last day. I felt like a boss OK!
But today a message was delivered and it fed me:
“Heavenly Father, I acknowledge that You can do everything and that nothing is impossible for You! I also acknowledge that You know everything better than I do...Even if I don’t always understand what You’re doing or allowing, I choose to trust You. Again today, I place my hand in Yours because I want to walk with You. Help me to accept what I can’t change and release everything to You. My expectation and hope are in You. In the name of Your Son, Jesus, amen!”
Thanks for existing!
So again I don't have a plan and I don't know for certain this will work but I knew I had to find out. The only way to do so was to say a prayer, let God know what my heart desires were and take a leap. I no longer want to spend my days doing something I don't enjoy or that doesn't serve me purpose. Yea I made decent money for my small town but that's not what life is about. Not to me anyway. I spent my twenties doing everything because I had to. I had to work multiple jobs to make sure my kids were fed. I had no time to even think about what my dreams where. I didn't know until last year what I wanted to do. I started blogging, that led to penning my first novel, that turned into penning 10 novels all together. Some did better than the others and some had me ready to throw the towel in and say no stick to your day job. But I kept getting story lines and characters kept creeping in and I knew that was nothing but God. Saying I gave you this gift now water it.
I knew damn well I couldn't give up!!!
I appreciate you all for supporting me. Buying my books, reviewing my books, telling friends and simply encouraging me. Most of my subscribers have turned into my friends. I love y'all for that.
I just wanted to share my news... More love will be penned so get ready.
Love Always, C. Monet