This or That......

Happy Wednesday Ladies!

I wrote this blog a year ago (WOW) and it still feels so important and powerful for me. I wanted to share it again but this time with you! Especially since my life has turned completely around and I now have the things I searched for! I hope this blog finds you well and encouraged!

The wonderful 2 Chainz said in "Got One" "I was being patient y'all was being stagnant" I scream that part every time because it resonates with me.

I believe the first step to being content is understanding the difference of content, complacent, patient and stagnant. All the time we confuse these terms. It really can be as simple as this or that.

Content is said the be the state of peaceful happiness. Complacent is said to be unsatisfied with oneself or one's achievements. Often people say I'm content with such a frown on there face. But they really mean they are complacent kinda floating. Its possible to be among the living and feel dead inside. You become numb to the changes around you. There's not a single thing that makes you exhale. Content has been used out of context for way to long.

Be content not complacent.

Patience, some possess this quality and some don't. Patience requires effort which turns some off. Patience pushes you out of that entitled lifestyle. Stagnant is described as motionless, no current or flow. Patience is understanding what you want or need , praying about it and actively building to receive those blessings or needs. Stagnant is when we know exactly what we need but make no moves. No praying, No meditating, and no research of the steps we need to get what we want or where we want. Stagnant is knowing you need a job but fill out the job application and never call to follow up. Be patient not stagnant.

Get to work!

It wasn't until the beginning of this year that something struck inside of me that made me want to do something fulfilling that made me content with life outside of my husband and kids. I took sometime out to pray and ask God to show me what my purpose on this earth was. I'll be honest I still don't know exactly what that is. But I do remember the night I decided to sit down and let God speak with me for real, no more playing and waiting around. I was so frustrated with my family, my job, my friends and anything else I could use to wallow in. Everybody had me bent that night. I had choice words for everyone that crossed my path. I was on a rampage to say the least.

I realized........

I really just started going with the flow some years ago (complacent and stagnant) I got into a routine, made several excuses as to why I couldn't do things for myself because I was mothers and wife. . I let go of my dreams to push others towards there's. That night I realized that although I love my family I felt left behind and stagnant.

I felt stagnant because although I have a good job, great family, a home to call my own I felt like none of it was enough for me. My life was so cookie cutter to me. It was normal, way to normal for such a free spirit such as myself.

Then I felt guilty......

I felt guilty immediately after those thoughts left because never in that rant and pity party did I realize for one I asked for all these things when that's what I thought happiness meant to me. I never rejoiced for the peace and stability I have in my life. I never stopped and said thank God I don't have to worry about the lights being off when we come home. I didn't stop and thank God that my son with ADHD made an A on his test and that he had great behavior all week. I say all this to say that it is OK to be content and still want more for yourself outside of your title mom, wife, friend, sister, daughter and girlfriend.

I've learned to be patient while its revealed. And content with what I have until it comes. Be in a state of peaceful happiness on purpose, by pushing yourself, by appreciating the process, by rejoicing, by being patient. Be Happy on Purpose which seems like a task in it self but nothing is impossible. I read somewhere while looking into my purpose that when we set out on the quest for our purpose we should decide what type of shit sandwich we prefer! YES shit sandwich.... Simply because at some point we will hit a low in life and there wont be anything we can do about it but eat the sandwich and wash it down with our drink of choice. We must believe that this is just a minor road block in searching for our purpose, peace, and happiness. Purposely surround yourself with positivity while going thru the storm.

I myself have to stop feeling as though all my efforts are in vain, the minute something does not go my way or happen the way I envisioned it. Its imperative that I find the good in whatever situation I'm faced with or that I come across. When I do this I protect my peace and my happiness. It is still in my hands and no one else's. I choose to be patient and content on purpose! Its either this or that with me these days. Either i'm going to be happy and do it on purpose or I will be wallowing in the woulda, coulda, shouldas! I cant live like that anymore while raising kids that I want to show the importance of self love and peace.

We must make time for those people and things that make us happy. Peace breakers are the wolves in sheep's clothing. I no longer can be in a position were there is some type of emotional battle or turmoil when it comes to my own happiness or my own peace. I sacrificed my own happiness and peace for years for others and let me tell you " I'm not here for it". I was losing sleep and weight making sure others were comfortable and happy. I can no longer live in the what about me stages and relationships. I realized its completely acceptable to think of self sometimes and make sure self is happy. I am no good to those around me that I love if i'm not happy. So again BE HAPPY ON PURPOSE!!!

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